


Feel

by CasualWinchester



Series: Crush [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Magnus POV, Manipulative Camille Belcourt, Movie Reference, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Protective Raphael, Reference to first time, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sad Magnus, Sweet Alec, drunk magnus, very sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 11:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9382079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualWinchester/pseuds/CasualWinchester
Summary: Forced to play nice with Camille to protect his grades, Magnus is unaware of the scheme Camille is pulling. It isn't until he is forced to face something he had hoped to never to face, that he realizes how precious one Alexander Lightwood is to him.





	

**Feel-**

  
**Magnus:**

Every second of the past week and a half, I have regretted ever asking Camille to help model my designs. Oh how I wish I never started off these designs when I was dating her. They were all measured to her size and I just didn't have the time to fix them.

Both Isabelle and Lydia had offered their help, multiple times. I seriously considered it after the first meeting with Camille.

She had sauntered in like she owned the place, like she always did, that wasn't unusual for her. Then she had the decency to waltz over and drape her body over me then kiss my cheek, leaving an ugly kiss mark in her wake. I felt disgusted and wrong, she was too small and delicate, I was too used to the feeling of toned muscle and being towered over by 6ft 3in angel of a man.

Isabelle wasn't happy with that, if it weren't for Lydia I'm pretty sure Isabelle would've punched the smirk off of Camille's face.

"That's right sweet pea, crawl back your little lesbo lover. You can't do anything to me. If you do, I'll walk right out of here and dearest Maggie will fail his classes." Camille had taunted, making Isabelle growl in anger.

"Isabelle baby, please. You know she's right, just calm down." Lydia had held Izzy close to her, to try and ease her tension. "You know she will just leave if we treat her bad." Lydia then sent a glare at Camille, who in turn just smiled at her.

"I will only stay if you promise to be nice to me." Camille lazily expected her nails the whole time. She may be small but her body was heavy and uncomfortable. My whole being wanted to push her to the floor, I didn't want her anywhere near me, and my body craved the touch of another.

"I'll show you nice-" Isabelle had gone to start struggling again so I had sent her a pleading look. She stopped when she'd seen it though because she knew that I needed Camille to pass my classes. "Fine. Don't overstep your boundaries though." Isabelle had warned before storming out of the room.

That all happened last week, and through out the days that came after, we were forced to be pleasant with Camille. She continuously tested Isabelle's patience. She would purposely make jokes or dirty comments, just to make them laugh. They never meant their laughter though, I could tell it was all just part of the plan.

What really tried Isabelle was when Camille openly flirted with me or treated me like her boyfriend again. I could tell that Isabelle was ready to burst at any moment and just tell Camille that I was already taken. I had specifically told her not to mention it because I didn't want Camille turning her attention on Alec, he had already been through enough so I didn't want to add the pressure of a jealous ex onto his shoulders.

I was so glad when the day of deadlines rolled in because it meant that after 1pm today, I wouldn't be forced to spend my days with Camille and I could go back to spending them with my darling Alexander.

Thankfully the day was too busy for me to see her all that often. I was only around to answer a couple of questions about my designs before I was sent away to take the exam. Which I have obviously passed with flying colours.

After the exam, we had to wait until we got a mock grade on our designs. That involved getting Taki's delivered to the college, a good lunch is just what we needed.

What we didn't need however was Camille coming over and draping herself all over me.

As per usual, we kept up our charade of pretending to be nice, smiling at her when she spoke, and fake laughing whenever it was appropriate, I almost drew the line when she hand fed me my food and kissed my cheek. Kissing my cheek was something Alexander did often and I didn't want her memory to ruin that for me. What I really didn't like though is when she leaned over to whisper something in my ear about having people to see. There was something in the words whispered against my skin, that unnerved me and I couldn't place what it was.

"Where is she going?" Isabelle hisses under her breath as we watch Camille saunter out of the room.

"I have no idea, she just said she had to see someone." I tell her. I look down at the salad sitting in front of me. The memory of Camille's impromptu feeding session is still fresh in my mind, it's enough to put me off of eating any more. I push the salad away from me as if it personally offended me.

"I hate this Magnus, surely we don't have to keep this up any longer." Isabelle glances a look at the closed door. It looks as if she is trying to burn a hole though it with her mind, she's probably picturing Camille's head or something.

"As soon as the results are in dear, then we will go back to the loft and drink away the pain." I say dramatically, I then take a drink of my peach ice tea, wishing it was something stronger. It would be the only thing to get me through the rest of the day with Camille, well that and the thought of returning home to Alexander.

"Cheer's to that." Isabelle takes a gulp of her smoothie.

"Hate to be the barer of bad news." A silky, snake like voice says from the doorway. I turn to see Camille has come back in.

She has done something, I just know she has. I know her better than any one else here so I know that the smirk on her face can only mean something bad.

"Where are-" Lydia starts but Camille cuts her off.

"Oh darling, are you beginning to enjoy my company? Is dearest Isabelle not satisfying enough?" Camille laughs, "You better take better care of your woman Isabelle or you might..." She smiles slyly at me. "...just lose them." With that she grabs her purse and winks at us all.

"Aren't you going to stay until after the results?" Lydia asks, it seems she had chosen to ignore the comments Camille made. Isabelle on the other hand looks like she is about to explode with anger.

"My work here is done my sweet." Camille doesn't take her eyes off me as she says this.

"What the hell have you done?" I almost snarl at her. "Don't even bother bullshitting with me."

"Oh darling, you will find out soon enough." Camille flicks her hair over her shoulder. "Goodbye my dears." She calls as she walks out of the room.

I am left sitting there, slightly worried about what she has done. It couldn't be all bad, could it? I mean she doesn't know enough about my life right now to know any better. She has nothing to use against me.

I specifically made sure I didn't tell her anything she could use against me. It's one of the main reasons I made sure whenever we met, it was somewhere that we wouldn't run into Alexander, god knows what it would look like if he walked in on me with his sister and her girlfriend, whilst I sat there with my ex. It probably wouldn't look very good.

"What do you think she done." Lydia asks, "It probably has something to do with the person she just spoke to. She was adamant on staying with us before she went to talk to them." She points out. She makes sense but the only thing I can concentrate on is the look on Isabelle's face.

"Izzy, are you okay? Don't listen to what she said I-" Isabelle shakes her head.

"Oh, no that's not the problem. I am very aware of how good a lover I am, her teasing means nothing when I know the end results." Isabelle winks before her face turns serious again, Lydia hides her face in her hands. "I think we should go, back to the loft that is." She looks at me, pleadingly.

"Why would we do that? The results-" I start but Isabelle cuts me off again, it starting to get a little annoying.

"-Will be posted online later." She looks down at her hands. "I just feel like something is wrong and that we need to go back to the loft now or-" This time it was Isabelle that was cut off and this time it was because of my phone ringing.

I flash her an apologetic look before fishing my phone out of my coat pocket. I see that it is Raphael, which is weird because I hardly ever get calls from Raphael. He hated technology and preferred to talk in person.

_"Raphael, what a surprise-"_

**"You really are a dick Bane!"**

_"Excuse me? What have I done now."_

**"Everything, I expected better from you after everything that you have been through. Was it fun? were you doing it just to get a kick out of a vulnerable boy?"**

_"Raphael... I haven't got the foggiest idea what you are on about."_

**"...you are an asshole. It's one thing to use this kid as a source of entertainment but to cheat on him, that's just something else entirely."**

_"What! Raphael! I haven't cheated on anyone... are you talking about Alexander? is this all about him?"_

**"Who do you think I'm on about Magnus. I really have no idea what game you were playing... did you force him to come out? did you pressure him into dating you? I honestly can't believe you Magnus. You know exactly the type of abuse he has been through, yet you can still hurt him this way."**

_"I didn't-"_

**"I guess it doesn't matter now anyway, he's gone and I don't expect he will be coming back."**

_"...he's g-gone?"_

**"Packed a bag and walked straight out of the door and he said he never wants to see you ever again, I don't blame him. I don't particularly want to see you either."**

Raphael is quick to hang up the phone on me there.

I am left sitting in shock at what he said. My whole body has gone slightly numb, it had been ever since Raphael told me that Alexander had left. He left me, I had lost him over something I didn't do.

How could anyone think that I would cheat on my wonderful Alexander. I have felt things for him that I haven't felt for anyone else! He is the first person I'm sure that I have truly loved!

Love.

Oh god, I'm in love with Alexander and I never got the chance to say it to him. Why did I not realize this ages ago? I could've told him, let him know how much he means to me and how much he will always mean to me. Maybe then he wouldn't believe that I could do something as stupid as cheat on him.

"Magnus! What's happened, did you cheat on my brother?" Isabelle looks a mix of angry and confused. It's as if she wants to be angry but her confusion is stopping her from actually being so.

"No! I would never do something like that to him, ever!" I stand from my chair. "How could he think that? Oh my god, he's gone! Alec left me before I could tell him that it isn't true... I couldn't even tell him the truth." I start pacing back and forth as I try to think of something to say.

"The truth? what truth Magnus?" Isabelle asks and I realize how bad that must sound. I should tell her what I mean but part of me doesn't want to tell her before I tell Alec, but then again who knows if I will get to tell him now.

"I love him." I say before stopping and turning to look at them. I feel my eyes tear up slightly. "He's gone and I didn't get to tell him that I loved him." Isabelle is quick to stand and pull me into a hug.

"Hey, shh shh. Oh Magnus it's going to be okay. You can tell him, I'll make sure you'll be able to tell him." Isabelle pulls me tightly to her.

"How did this even happen?" I ask no one in particular.

"It's obvious, remember what Camille was saying?" Lydia points out. She is standing up from the table and is looking very annoyed. "This has her name written all over it."

It's true, it makes perfect sense, this is something she would do if she thinks she could get one up on me.

"What did she say to him, I'll kill her. I swear to god I'll kill her." Isabelle is furious now. "C'mon, let's go find my brother and explain this to him." Isabelle soothes a hand through my hair.

"I hope so, I don't want to lose him." I hate feeling this weak but the idea of not having Alec in my life, this early into our lives together, is too much for me to even think about.

"You won't, you're too perfect for each other." Lydia comes over and takes over Isabelle's place in hugging me. This allows Isabelle to pull out her phone.

She presses something on the screen then raises the phone to her ear, a moment later she is saying Raphael's name.

"Raphael, listen you have it all wrong..."

I don't hear the rest because she walks off. I don't need to hear it though to know that she is going to fix this mess that Camille has made.

  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
Four hours after finding out that Alec had left me, I find myself sitting in the loft. Surrounded by our friends. Everyone apart from Jace and Simon were here. They were currently out looking for Alec because the man was stubbornly not answering his phone.

I was so worried. No one had any idea where he was and we didn't like not knowing because we also didn't have clue what kind of state he is in. According to Simon and Raphael, he had seemed very hurt and a little erratic. That's clear to see by the smashed candles in his bedroom.

"Magnus, do you want some tea?" Catarina kneels down in front of me. She had been acting all mother hen over me ever since she arrived. She came with Ragnor, who has been cursing the day Camille was born ever since he came and sat next to me.

"I'm okay Cat, I swear." I say even though that's not what she asked. I knew that her offering me tea was just her way of making sure that I was okay and that I was calm. She had been with me during previous breakup's and she knew that none of them had been as bad as this one, because she knew that I felt more for Alexander than I have for any other person I've dated.

"I know honey, I just want to make sure." She comes to sit by my side. He absence in front of me leaves a space for Isabelle to squat down.

"There's something nagging at you Magnus." Isabelle puts a hand on my knee.

She is right. Something is nagging at me, making me beyond nervous. I can't help but wonder if Alexander will even want to get back with me. Sure he will find out that I never actually cheated on him, but something seems off about all of this. Why would he be so quick to believe that I would do something like that. Do I not show him enough affection? Do I show him too much? Or does he simply just not trust me.

Perhaps he realized all of this and that's why he broke things off without speaking to me first.

I know that Alec feels something for me, he makes it pretty clear whenever we're having a conversation. Even if he doesn't outright state that he does, I can tell in the small glances and touches he sends my way. But I have no idea if he has any of the same feelings that I have. I don't want to scare him if he comes back by telling him that I was in love with him. It's still super early into our relationship.

I know our whole time together has been pretty backwards. Considering we've been dating a month and he is already living with me. We also pretty much dived headfirst into this as well. It all happened so quickly, my break up with Camille was still so fresh by the time I started falling for Alec.

Then again I'm pretty sure I fell for him the moment I saw him. It sounds so stupid and I'm not going to say it but I knew that Alec was something special when I first saw him at that club. Sure I didn't know it would end up with me falling in love with him, but still I knew something was there.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way." I blurt out. It makes everyone turn to look at me, all of them staring at me as if waiting for me to continue, so I do. "It's still so early and this is the first relationship he has ever been in. I don't want to tell him how I feel if it's just going to make him feel guilty or something." I say.

Isabelle just stares at me like I was stupid. "Magnus, you can't be serious?" She asks.

I just stare back at her, my silence answering the question.

"Seriously? You think Alec doesn't feel the same way for you as you like him... my god Magnus! I thought you were smart." Isabelle bursts out laughing for a long moment. No one else joins in with her but by the looks on their faces, I can see they agree with her.

"Isabelle, I know he has feelings for me but what if they're not like mine." I whisper. Her intentions might be good but the laughing is making me feel slightly bad. I just need to convey to her that yes, I know Alec likes me, its painfully obvious that he does. But I seem to be the only one here who thinks that he might need the time to feel how I do.

"Look honey, what Isabelle is trying to say is that sure Alec might not be there yet, that's fair enough... but you should still tell him how you feel because he does like you and it would be nice for him to know how you feel, considering all that he has been through hearing something like that might actually be good for him." Catarina rubs my shoulder in comfort. Her words make sense, and yes perhaps it will be good for Alec to hear that I love him.

"I know it would be good for him... I just wish I could know for sure that I could tell him." I get up from everyone on the sofa so I could cross over to the loft's balcony. This is a favourite spot for Alexander and I, we have spent countless night's sitting here talking or just enjoying each other's company.

"You will-" Catarina starts but I shake my head.

"Look, I'm not so sure Alec will want to come back, okay." I say sharply before looking down at my hands which were currently resting on top of the wall around the balcony.

"Magnus don't be silly-" Isabelle tries to sound soothing but all it does is angers me.

"No Isabelle, it's not silly... It makes perfect sense for him to not want to come back. He shouldn't have to deal with all this crap with Camille, not after everything he has been through, he doesn't need my baggage added onto his own." I snap at her. "I refuse to let him go through something like this because of some bitch like Camille, I love him too much to put him through any more crap."

It takes me moment to realize that I had just told everyone that I loved Alec. Sure a couple of them knew but it feels wrong that they now all know before Alec does. It's not what I wanted.

"Oh Magnus..." Clary's voice sounds like a whisper in the wind.

"I want to be left alone." I mumble before walking off the balcony and pushing my way through them all. Ragnor reaches out as if he was going to comfort me but I just dodge is hand.

I just want to shut myself in my room and sleep, perhaps this was all just some nightmare that I could just wake up from.

I walk into my room, closing my door with a slam.

In a very moody teenage way, I throw myself down onto my bed, face first into the pillows.

Why couldn't this all just be some big joke? It would probably make me feel a lot better than I do right now. Sure it would be a mean joke to play on someone, but I would get over it and it would end with me still having Alexander by my side.

At some point during my little strop, tears started to fall down my face. I can't believe Camille could do something like this just because I broke up with her. It's not as if I was the one who cheated on her, it would make more sense for her to do this if that was the case.

Really the only reason she has done this is because she is the biggest bitch I know. This is the worst thing she has ever done to me, she has taken away one of the most precious things to me.

With that last thought, I pull the blankets up and over my head as I continue to cry slightly. The thought of losing Alexander is so painful to me, I can't even think about it any longer. To try and fight off the pain, I close my eyes, hoping that sleep will be enough to drive away the bad thoughts.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I next wake up it's the middle of the night.

I am sprawled out across the bed, the blankets have became tangled up in my legs and my face is smashed attractively into the pillows, probably leaving marks from lying in the same position for too long.

I can feel an uncomfortable weight to my eyes and my eyelashes feel slightly clumpy. God I must never fall asleep with makeup on ever again, it's not a nice feeling. To make it worse, I probably look a mess due to the fact that I was crying before I fell asleep, there's probably makeup all over my face. I doubt my hair is any better, it's probably sticking up all over the place.

For a moment I forget why I was in such a state but then it all came back to me in startling quality. Alexander had left me, and it was all Camille's fault.

I bury my face further into the pillows, god I hate her so much. I wish I could do something to her that is as bad as what she has done to me, but Camille has no feelings for anything or anyone so it's going to be pretty hard to hurt her, to break her heart like she broke mine.

All I wanted to do now was watch films to try and distract me from the fact that I no longer have the one I love. I will also be consuming near illegal amount's of alcohol.

I push myself up from the comfort of my bed. As comfortable as the bed is, it doesn't distract me from how uncomfortable my eyes are due to the heavily clumped mascara and the eyeliner that's probably all but faded off of my eyes.

I go over to my dresser to pick up on of the many make-up wipes I own, then I get to work on wiping off the mess that has left my face almost unrecognisable.

God, I had no idea anyone could make me feel this bad, especially not someone I had only known for two months. I knew it always felt like jumping into the deep end with Alec, but how I feel right now is more like jumping into the Mariana Trench.

Once my face has been cleared of makeup and moisturized, I leave the room to grab any alcohol I could get my hands on.

Once I make it to the front room I see that Isabelle and Catarina have decided to stay the night. They are both asleep on the large sofa and they are sharing the same small blanket. I feel bad that they didn't have anything else so I quietly walk towards the basket that holds some spare blankets, I pick out the biggest one before laying it on top of them.

Once I'm satisfied that they will be warm, I make my way to the kitchen and to the cupboard where we keep the alcohol. The only thing in there is some tequila, some whisky and a bottle of vodka. I think my best bet is to go with the vodka as it's the only thing I can drink that doesn't leave me with the worst kind of hangovers. I tend to get the worst ones whenever I drink tequila, it's like a poison to me.

I ponder over whether I should use a glass or not, but in the end I decide against it. I didn't have the time or patience to bother with a glass right now.

Once I had the vodka securely in my hand, I tip toe my way back to my room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I had no idea how long I had been drinking for but half of the bottle was gone and I no longer felt anything. The only thing I felt was anger at the people on the TV.

I think I was watching ghost, or that was watching the last time I was consciously aware of what was going on.

There is someone being stupid on whatever it is that I was watching. I don't know what it was exactly that they were doing but the fact that they were lying in the back of their opened top car, crying and singing in the rain.

"You need to be at the ball! don't just lie there!" I yell at the screen before taking another large disgusting swig from the bottle. It burns the entire way down but at this point it's almost numb. It's probably not a good thing, the sane part of me is telling me that I should get rid of the bottle and stop drinking now before I end up hurting myself. Then the drunk part of my brain comes along and convinces me that if I stop drinking then the pain will come back again.

The girl on the film has finally made it to the ball but the way she is, it would be best if she didn't turn up at all, I mean who turns up to a royal ball dressed in soppy clothes. It's blasphemy!

A sudden ping from the side of me get's my sudden attention. I look down at the phone that was currently lying abandoned on the floor.

I take another swig of vodka before flinging myself across the bed to pick the phone up off the floor. As I do this though, the bottle falls to the floor and smashes. It was so loud in the silence of the night so it's no surprise when I hear Isabelle and Catarina shout and wake up in surprise.

I have no mind for them though because I'm currently trying to figure out who sent this message and what it says, I can't keep my hands still and my eyesight is a little blurry. Perhaps I should just call whoever it is and tell them to fuck off because I'm too sad to come to the phone.

By the time I hear the footsteps making their way to my door, I already have the phone pressed to my ear.

 _"Helooooo I cnr't phone, sad Magnus."_ I slur when the person answers the phone.

**"Magnus? Are you drunk?"**

_"Whooo me? never. Who are you."_

**"Magnus, It's Jace? Did you get my message, Simon and I are with Alec in a hotel-"**

_"ALEC! the love of my- HEY!"_

The phone was torn out of my hand by a flabbergasted looking Isabelle. She was glaring at me as if I had a second head. She put the phone to her ear and said one thing before hanging up. "Jace? Yeah it's Isabelle, we can't talk right now he's gotten himself into a right state." The phone clicks off and she throws it down onto the bed.

It was only then that I realised Catarina had joined me on the bed. "Isabelle find a bucket or something, I don't want to clean up anything." Catarina orders. She's really good at looking after people. "Also get him some water, he's going to need it." Isabelle mock salutes before turning and walking out of the room.

The phone starts to ring and I go to get it but Catarina just pulls me back onto the bed. She sits up against the headboard then pulls me back to rest against her chest.

"Phone-" Catarina shushes me then begins to gently stroke my hair.

"Just rest Magnus, I hate seeing you this way darling." There is worry in her voice and I want to feel bad for her but I'm too concerned over what is happening on the TV now. The girl has finally changed out of her wet clothes and is now wearing s slightly beautiful dress, although the gloves do ruin it a little.

"Sorry." I hum before allowing my head to fall back against her shoulder. "Missing my Alexander." I feel tears building in my eyes again. It was at this point that Isabelle came in with a glass of water, a bucket and a towel.

"Magnus?" Isabelle asks gently. She comes over to sit next to me, the bucket at hand just in case it was needed. "Everything is going to be okay with Alec, I know that for a fact." She leans over to pick up my phone, which had started ringing again.

"No, don't know." I say, she can't know that for sure, even my drunk mind knows that.

"Yes, I do...because he's calling you right now." Isabelle holds out the phone for me to look at. Sure enough, Alexander's name is staring me right in the face. In the right hand corner it tells me that I have missed several calls from him, he must've been the one who must've been calling me a moment ago.

Without realizing what I was doing, I reach out for the phone. I miss it because my sense of direction is a little off right now so Isabelle places it in my hand, helpfully pressing the answer button as she does so.

I shakily put the phone to my ear, nervously waiting for the sound of my love's voice. I hope he doesn't shout at me. Maybe that's why he is calling me in the first place, to yell at me for bothering him after everything that had happened.

"Magnus? Hello?" Alec's voice comes through and I feel myself let out a shaky breath. His voice seemed to sooth an ache in me that I hadn't even felt there until this very moment. I close my eyes slowly as I try to think of what to say, it can't be anything too extreme or I'll just scare him away again and I can't have that, not when I have him here. Sure it's just over the phone but it's enough for now. It was the most contact we have had since before this whole thing started, I hardly seen him due to exams and finals.

"Magnus? baby are you there?" He asks and the term of endearment catches me off guard. He had never called me anything like that before, I like it. I wanted to hear it more, every day of my life.

"Alexander." It comes out more like a whisper and I wasn't aware that I was saying it until after I said it.

I suddenly feel more sober than ever. The weight of what is happening is finally coming back down on me. The tears fall from my eyes without me even noticing.

"Oh god, Magnus I'm so sorry. I overreacted... I should've spoken to you first." Alec sounds devastated and I hate it. I hate all of his pain that has been caused because of Camille. I should've spoken to him about her, let him know what was happening. Maybe none of this would've happened if I had just told him straight away.

"M'sorry Alexander, I should've told you bout her... but I didn't cheat, I would never do that to you. I promise." I grip onto the phone for dear life. The only thing that's keeping my grounded right now is the hand that Catarina is stroking through my hair, and the tight hold of Isabelle's hand on my free one.

"I know that, I shouldn't of doubted you like that. Not after everything you have done for me. You have given me something that I would've never expected to get, if you asked me three months ago that I would get someone like you in my life, I would've said that you were stupid." Alec laughs and I feel a smile grow on my face. "You are so special to me Magnus Bane. I know I don't usually say any of this, and I know I should because it's all you deserve, but I have to say it now because I know you are hurting, and so am I so maybe this will help us... you have no idea how much you mean to me and I promise you now that I will remind you how much you do, every single day of my life." Alec sounds like he is out of breath, like he was running.

"Alexander-"

"No, baby. No I need to say this because you deserve to hear it after what I put you through today." He takes a deep breath. "Magnus, you have given me the life I always wished to have. The life everyone said I deserved, even though I never believed it, and I still won't because I honestly can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I have you. I have you and you seem to want me too, which is even more bizarre," I laugh slightly because it's so rare that Alexander makes jokes and whenever he does, I wish to savoir them.

"That's another thing. God I love it when you laugh. It's one of the best sounds in the world. Making you smile and laugh is something I seek to do every day because it makes me feel like I deserve you just that little bit, even just a tiny amount. I will never be truly good enough for you Magnus, no one will..." He stops for a long moment.

"But I'm going to try my hardest to at least pretend that I am. Each day I'm going to do something, to show you just how special you are...because that's what boyfriends are supposed to do." The tears on my face are now from happiness and I wish that it was him there rather than his sister and one of my best friends.

"Oh, Alexander-"

"I'm not done yet dear." Alec's breath is even now but I can hear his footsteps through the phone. I lean further against Catarina who is smiling brightly at me and Isabelle, she is able to hear every single thing Alec is saying. "I have a lot of making up to do after what happened today, I didn't honor or treat you like my boyfriend and I acted like a child... I'm so sorry. It's my fault that you are in pain right now-"

"I'm not in pain, I'm the furthest thing from in pain." I interrupt him.

"But baby, I did. I hurt you in a way that I swore to myself that I never would. So here I am again telling you that I'm not ever, ever going to hurt you this way again." I let my eyes fall shut, listening to his softly spoken words. "I will never do it again because..." it is silent for a moment but then he speaks again.

But this time his voice doesn't come over the phone.

"I love you Magnus Bane."

My eyes snap open to see Alec standing in the doorway, phone still to his ear, eyes wide and staring right into mine. Isabelle's hand comes up to cover her mouth, her eyes are watery.

"Alexander-" I feel like this is the only thing I have been able to say for the past five minutes.

"I love you, I don't care if you don't love me back and I don't care that I'm saying this with my sister and our friend in the room. I don't care that this isn't the most romantic set up. I don't care about anything apart from how much I am in love with you, my Magnus."

He walks over to the bed and kneels down next to it. Catarina gently uses her hands to encourage me to sit up. I lean forward slightly and almost automatically, Alec had one hand resting on my cheek and the other on my neck.

"You're so perfect Magnus and I'm not exactly sure if you know how much, but that's my job to let you know how much you are." His thumb gently brushes over my cheekbone and down to my bottom lip. His eyes are staring so deeply into mine. "I don't know who I was kidding when I left today, I can't imagine ever living without you." He leans forward to rest his head against mine.

"I couldn't live without you either." I say before bringing both of my hands up to rest on his neck.

"No, I don't believe that to be true. You had a life before me Magnus, but I didn't." Alec's voice turns sharper. "You saved my life, literally. I don't know what my father would've done to me if you hadn't come along." I hear the pain in his voice so I grip around his neck until I can fist the back of his shirt in my hands, letting him know I was there.

"I might've had a life Alexander, but it wouldn't be as perfect as it is now. As perfect as it is with you." I say. I decide that it's now my time to speak.

"You think that your not special to me, darling you have no idea. I have never felt this way for anyone in my life, no one at all comes close to you. I would risk my life just to make sure you were safe." Alec's breath hitches slightly at that. "If I never met you, I would still be in an unhealthy relationship with a woman who manipulated me into doing what she wanted me to do. You know exactly what she can do once she gets her claws into someone." I shake my head.

"What I'm trying to say my darling, is that I may have saved your life, but you also saved mine...and now we have each other." I say before leaning forward and pressing the most chaste kiss against his lips. "We love each other." I say and his eyes automatically meet mine in wide hope.

"You mean?-" He stops himself, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"I do, I love you too." I say.

The weight on the bed lessens which tells me both Isabelle and Catarina are leaving. I hear a small tap as Isabelle places the bucket next to the bed, it's soon followed by a dull thump as she presses the glass of water onto the bedside table. After that it's silent so I know they are gone.

Alec suddenly pulls off his coat before pushing me back onto the bed slightly.

"What are you doing?" I ask, mourning the loss of him by my side.

The only answer I get is him pressing his lips to mine. It's sudden but I don't dislike it, what is confusing is when he pushes me back onto the bed before climbing on top of my legs before going back to kissing me,

"Alexander?" I say as his lips move from my mouth to my jaw, then to my neck.

"Shh my love, I want to-" his last words go unspoken as he gently nips the skin of my neck.

It suddenly all makes sense, I know exactly what he wants to do.

"Darling... are you sure?" I ask as I run a hand through his hair.

He pulls back to smile at me. "I have never been more sure of something in my life." he leans down to kiss me again.

"It's not the most romantic of set up's" I say even though I don't think I could argue against him much.

"I don't care," he states before moving back to my neck again, his other hand going towards the button down shirt I still had on from this afternoon. "You're here, it couldn't get any more perfect." He pulls back so he could stroke a hand down my face. "My love, my Magnus, I love you and I want to do this with you." He bites his lip.

How can someone like Alec even exist, he is so pure and so perfect in every way.

"I love you too," I whisper before pulling him back down to meet me in a kiss.

He was right.

No matter what might have happened in the past 12 hours. We were in love, and we were both here and so happy. No matter what Camille has done, she will never break us.

We're both here again and it couldn't be more perfect.


End file.
